My research of late is inspired by my man who has declared January 2012

"HEALTH MONTH". 

I generally stay well clear of ambitious pursuits which involve commitments of a month at a time, but in this case - he asked for it out of a heartfelt need for lifestyle change

and I will thus attempt to support his need (and mine) wholeheartedly.

My RAW ambitions are still well placed and supported recently with the addition of a food dehydrator and a food processor to assist in the wonderful making of RAW food snacks.  I am completely sold on RAW and do see it as the support structure which boosts my energy and health to levels of greater efficiency, thus allowing me to
pursue my many ambitious dreams and plans for a more balanced life.

To RAW, I now add SLOW and WAPF

SLOW FOOD promotes traditional and regional foods and encourages farming of  plants, seeds and livestock characteristic of the local environment.  SLOW is also about taking time to prepare foods in traditional ways which is all about curing,
fermenting and of course growing.

WAPF the Weston A. Price Foundation is dedicated to nutrition education around restoring nutrient-dense foods in the forms which our ancestors ate: pasture fed animals producing
meat and milk, fermenting foods and adding natural fats to our diet  ... to name just a few.

January 2012 is going to be a mix up of all the above.  I have blogged about SLOW before and I continuously realise that without embracing SLOW lifestyle change just cannot happen in any effective way.  I am still battling with this one.  I don't like spending hours in the kitchen, I don't see it as time well spent, I get bored, my energy flags and I hate cleaning up.  It just does not work for me!  I am going to have to find a way to change that mindset.

This is what SLOW looks like - it has a homely, comforting and wholesome feel.

 

Bumping into the Western A Price Foundation and concepts of dense nutrition is a liberation to me.  Foods I've avoided all my life and been taught to avoid since childhood, are revealing themselves as beneficial nutrient dense foods. 

Whole milk, cream, butter, lard and animal fat according to WAPF are healthy!  The premiss is that it is unhealthy to separate food elements out from the whole, from its original state.  Separating food elements is where disorder begins and disease is incubated.  I still have a hard time with eating animal fat and the idea of 'lard' although growing on me, does not feel quite right yet, however I will be ordering 'leaf fat' from a grass fed butchery and I am going to render it, just like I remember my granny doing.  My granny lived till 92 on such a diet and she always fed me up when I visited, trying to counter the negative eating disorder my mother bestowed upon me .... bless her! (the granny that is!)

A few months back I read a Dr Mercola article lauding the benefits of whole milk and have been purchasing organic whole milk since, this after decades of 2% and skim.  I find I like whole milk and I also like cream and real butter, my nutritional history has been devoid of such joys, I am however learning to add these items to my grocery list and I am enjoying the freedom gained from doing so.  As a child I still remember the few inches of cream poured off the top of the milk bottle and how that cream dissipated over the years until no cream was found and nobody remembered that it should be.
I want to return to the wholesomeness of those days:

I have been doing tons of research over the past few weeks and now I must implement.  

I want to document all the changes and lessons here.  It is quite a challenge to me as I prefer making changes with a BIG SPLASH.  SLOW however cannot be rushed into and so I must embrace the wisdom of the east: Kaizen; one small step at a time.

Blog More

This is a good blog.  I am inspired by reading it. I should blog more.

Today I like Me

Today I like Me.  Me is happy, poised, confident, self possessed and has a sense of humour today - she is nice to be with and knows her boundaries and thus easy to be with.

I have been coming to terms with Me for a few weeks now and it seems by my night time dreams, that my subconscious is very busy reorganising my perceptions of Me.  I am moving away from the strict controls and judgements of the institutionalised Me and embracing a slower, happier, free-er civilian Me.  A Me that 'should not' and indeed 'must not' do anything that she does not want to do.

The 'should do' and 'must do' Me is fighting tooth and nail to take control, however, I will not let her,  I subdue her and only allow the free Me to emerge - the Me who does because she wants to do, is excited to do and intrigued to do things of interest to her.  The Me who shines brighter when she takes her freedom and lives her truth is a nice Me and all around her look on intrigued by the firmness in her eye and sparkle in her voice. 

I like this Me and embrace her and thank her for a good day.

Me

What does it take to begin again?

Perhaps a plan and the will to begin again.  Perhaps enthusiasm, courage and tenacity.  Perhaps resource, accountability and a kick in the pants!!!

I don't know why I can't begin.  I know I should.  I know it is good for me.  I know it will save me - and yet, no beginning in sight!

I have allowed myself to drift from my goal and my purpose and I feel really crappy about where I find myself.  I have been waiting for perfect conditions.  Waiting for all the structures to be in place to support my efforts, when I finally give them, and in the meantime, I have lost all impetus, focus and desire.


My body is agitated, my mind unfocused , my emotions - a dam ready to burst, my relationships are strained, my puppies are untrained, my house always on the brink of becoming organised but never quite making it, my creativity yearns for an outlet.  My learning is in decline, my desire for life is almost present, but not quite enough to get me out of bed for myself.  I need a project and it should be ME.  But I am not a project!!!

I am just ME splashing about uncontrollably, irrationally, unpredictably, incongruently, detrimentally and impractically and I NEED TO LIVE WITH THIS STATE OF DISORGANISED IRRATIONALITY BECAUSE RIGHT NOW  - THIS IS ME!

This is the ME I have to work with and I have to stop discrediting ME.  I have to allow ME space and time to become who and whatever I am.  I have to embrace this crumpled and distorted thing that I judge as crumpled and distorted and love her - not in an attempt to fix her, just to love her as she presents herself to me. 


She is rough on the edges and does not always do the right thing.  She is irritable and can't always find her patience.  She is crabby and does not like to be restrained.  She is in conflict with herself and can't always be presentable.  She is tired and often appears selfish.  She is scared and her courage escapes her.  She is bold and brave but can't always find her voice.  She loves order but can't maintain it.  She longs for colour but is afraid to wear it.  She is a loner and yet she embraces the right intrusion.  She judges herself but tries not judge others.  She forgives others but cannot forgive herself.  She is quiet, yet her head is filled with noise.  She has a large capacity to love yet keeps people out.  She is a mystery to others and to herself but she stubbornly toils at unfolding the puzzle of ME.


Bless her heart!  May she stop striving so hard and learn to enjoy ME!

stronger

My absence over the past months has been quite productive.  I have completed a botany course, been on a permaculture design course, made a whole group of new friends, read three new books, planted my own vegie patch, learnt to make bread and pretzels and a number of new dishes, enjoyed a number of huge lightening storms,  renovated a built-in wall cabinet, learnt how to take long-slow bath times,  found a new acceptance of self, learnt Tai Chi and found a new connection with the earth, catalogued all my seeds, reconciled with a sibling, forever lost a second sibling to permanent irreconcilable differences, planted/transplanted a myriad flowers in my garden, made some lovely beaded jewellery, found a property I want to purchase (with lots of land to practice permaculture), drew up the permaculture design plans for the new property, started a new pen and ink drawing I love, bathed, groomed and walked the pups a thousand times (never ending pre-occupation) and found a stronger more authentic, more forthright me in the process of all the above.

I'd say that was a few months well spent :)  I am feeling stronger than ever before and I am learning to like this emerging me although it is a more challenging me to live with.

I must say I have missed blogging everyday - I realise that I love documenting my time, it helps me process emotions and activities, which I may otherwise allow to drift off into oblivion, only to have come back and torment my subconscious in some obscure form I will never be able to later comprehend.  And so, I hope that I will make time every so often to come and write about my life here as it does me so much good to write out the words which fill my spaces.