I have been wondering why it is that I opt for coffee and toast most mornings when my kitchen is stocked with wonderful fresh produce which I took a lot of time to resource. I know the answer of course, it is TIME. It takes time to prepare something healthy and I realise today that I resent that TIME.
I resent spending hours and hours focused on food.
I have had a love/hate relationship with food since I was put on my first restrictive diet at age 6. For the next two decades FOOD became all I ever thought about; how to get food, how to sneak food, how to not be hungry, how to use food for comfort, how to spend my pocket money on food and not be found out, how to put water into the milk bottle after I had sneaked a glass, so that it didn't look less empty ... you get the idea.
FOOD and I have had a very unhealthy relationship. I am impatient around food. I want food to be readily available with no fuss and no time wasted. I want food that is easy to eat, I don't like fussy food. Most of the time I really don't know what I want to eat .... so I eat the easiest and quickest thing in the kitchen ..... toast. I don't usually care about taste too much; it has to be passable of course, but if the toast is a bit burnt - well OK, who cares! I'll put anything onto the toast that is quick and easy; jam, marmite, anchovette paste and peanut butter are usually available and do just fine ... I'm not really fussy and I don't have a preferance one over the other.
I don't like curry, I don't like the taste of BBQ sauce, I don't like apples and I don't like potatoes. Everything else is OK. However, ask me 'what do you want to eat?' and I am lost. I stress over what to cook at night; Beloved LOVES FOOD and it needs to be good food or he will not eat it. He has a well refined idea of his personal likes and dislikes and I orientate my own food around these. Beloved spent a good many years in Europe eating fine foods and will not settle for second best. Quality is important to him. I like quality too, however, I don;t like the TIME taken for quality.
When I am in the mood, I scour the net for good recipes he will enjoy. But if he is not around a bowl of cornflakes for dinner will do. I am quite determined to ensure that he eats healthily, I want to eat healthily too, the desire is there, but the follow through is most definitely lacking .... WTF?!
OK, so I think it is about TIME and perhaps about some other deep seated psychology I just have no handles on yet.
Whatever the reason the following is clear:
- Make peace with the idea that food takes time
- Set sufficient time aside to prepare food for each meal
- Connect with food on a spiritual level
- Love myself and nourish myself
- food is good
- Slow is good
- It is my right and duty to nourish my body with food
- Food is plentiful and always readily available to me
- I delight in the purchase and preparation of food which nourishes my body and soul.
- Time spent on food preparation prepares me for a healthy and happy future.